updated September, 2009
... account service, writers, designers, art directors, web programmers, producers, traffic, admins, roustabouts, gandy dancers, or CEOs. This doesn't mean our needs won't change eleven minutes from now when we land the El Biggo account; send us your résumé, a link to your online portfolio, or the answer to life's persistent questions. Please refrain from following your résumé with phone calls “to make sure it arrived.” (It did.) By the way, if you're a graphic or web professional, and you don't have an online portfolio, don't contact us until you evolve. I mean hey. The days of lugging a big pizza case from agency to agency is so last millennium, like parachute pants, cassette tapes, and Space Food Sticks. We're just sayin'.
Ah, but here's a great job. Don't just sit on your marketing budget; join us as a client. You would participate on an insightful strategic team, get Disciplined Creative, build your brand — and be a hero when you actually increase the value of your company. Plus you get to say stuff like “Gosh, you guys sure are swell!” Clients should e-mail The Big Cheese who is actually, we blush to reveal, swell. By the way, we filter potential clients using three criteria: Brains, Bravery, Budget. If you have even one, we're interested. If you have two, we're eager. All three? G'wan. Don't kid a kidder.
We always need talented interns in graphic design, web design, web programming, art direction, marketing and account service. A few paid, mostly unpaid. Send us a link to your online portfolio. Or see our intimidating Creativity Test. (Say, InTimi-Dating could be a new reality TV show concept. 12 guys named Tim on a deserted island – that is, deserted except for two film crews and a craft services van – lust after a bachelorette who's secretly dealing with fear of tarantulas. Grand Prize, cool internship. Hmmm. Maybe not.) The most talented interns have a way of going from unpaid beginners to indispensible superstars.
We don't often use freelancers, but if you are just freakin' brilliant, point us to your online portfolio. We'll look, and keep you on file. You never know. You just never know. Know what I mean? We knew you knew.
Subscribe to our amusing, insightful yet infrequent e-Newsletter. Speak truth to power. Eat your vegetables.